How to Explain Death to Toddlers & Preschoolers
This post comes from @themompsychologist. Wonderful advice!
Generally speaking, children begin to understand the finality of death around age 4. While infants and toddlers don’t understand death, they can sense what their parents/caregivers are experiencing.
Remember: Death is already a part of our daily life. If you think about it, death is all around us. From dying plants, rotten food, and dead bugs, our kids are surrounded by this concept. Use these moments to teach: things come and go, nothing lives forever.
When speaking about death, avoid euphemisms. Avoid euphemisms like “They passed away.” or “They went on to a better place.” You do not want to create fear or confusion. Instead, you can say something like…
When explaining death, you can say something like… “Grandma died. Her body stopped working. That means we can no longer see or talk to her. She can’t eat or play anymore.” Keep your language simple, concrete, and factual.
Remind them that they can still think and celebrate their loved ones. For example, “Even though we cannot see her anymore, her memory lives forever. We can still celebrate her life and how wonderful of a person she was. We can think about there whenever we want.”
Always end conversations with: “I’m glad we are talking about this together. What questions do you have for me?” Listen for ways they might be misinterpreting death and dispel any myths they may have (e.g., “I caused this. It was because I made a bad choice the other day.”)
Don’t be surprised if…
Your child keeps asking the same questions over and over again. This means they’re processing the information. The best thing you can do is welcome their questions and keep your messaging consistent.
The theme of dying and death shows up in play. It is a healthy way for them to process and grieve.
